Love deeply. Laugh. Cry. Talk to God. Be realistic about the to-do list. Stay in touch. Hug. Dream. Smile. Break Bread often with Family. Spend Time with your Girlfriends. Shop til you Drop! Extend Grace. Be Quick to Forgive and Slow to Anger. Walk. Breathe. Sing. Dance. Read. Eat Chocolate. Savor a Good Glass of Wine. Wiggle your Toes. Sleep well. Life is Good!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

As we draw near to the end of the year, most of us ponder the unanswered questions . . .

1. Christmas! What other time of year do you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

2. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

3. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

4. Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

5. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

6. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

7. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

8. Why do tug boats push their barges?

9. Why do we say something is outta whack? What is a whack?

10. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in suitcases?

11. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They are gonna see you naked anyway!

12. Where does the toetag go on a dead person, if they don't have toes?

13. Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

14. If pro and con are opposite, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress? {snickering}

15. If a transvestite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of half-n-half?

16. Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

17. Why is it when we skate on thin ice we can get in hot water?

18. Do siamese twins have to buy two tickets for the movie or concerts or plane travel?

19. If a guy has a heart attack before they throw the switch on the electric chair, should they save him first?

20. Who was Sadie Hawkins anyway?

21. If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off as a business expense?

22. Why do we tell our children to never take candy from strangers and then take them trick or treating?

23. Why is it no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

24. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

25. Can you still say stick it where the sun don't shine on a nude beach?

26. If you speak with sign language, can you talk with your mouth full?

27. Why did Ginger have so many outfits when they were only gonna be gone for three hours?

28. Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?

29. Didn't you have anything better to do today than sit and read all this stuff?!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Blog Archive