Who Am I? I'm Still Trying to Figure That One Out! Some Things I Know for Certain!
I am perhaps more skeptical than trusting. I always, always err on the side of caution. This doesn't make me a pessimist. I see my glass as half full, not half empty (perhaps, not so much when I'm exhausted). I'll encourage when the need arises. I'll discourage (in an encouraging kind of way) if I've walked in those shoes. I'll be quiet if I'm unsure. I'll get angry when I'm wronged (and on the sidelines, pray for grace). I'll withdraw when I'm hurt. And I often withdraw when I don't feel well.
I care about the well-being of others. Therefor, if I see a health concern or a safety issue, I will speak up. You may not agree with it. That's okay. Just do your homework before you challenge me because I've done mine. I understand what 'agree to disagree' means and I'll often simply respond "ok" but don't mistake that as giving in. I may share information you aren't interested in. I do my best when confronted with uninformed, flippant responses, political rhetoric, blanket statements and unjust generalizations. I try to be informed on what I'm speaking about. But, I don't keep my nose in the news 24/7 so if something new has developed don't lord over me like a know-it-all. I readily admit if I'm wrong. I also admit if I've wronged. I'm not afraid to apologize. It doesn't mean I'm weak. I live by my convictions and allow others to live by theirs ... and if they have none, that's still their own business. Don't ask my opinion if you truly don't want it. And if you don't like my opinion, okay. Don't sulk about it. It's not like you have to live with it.
And, don't draw conclusions about who I am, based on what someone else says or does, or even the company I keep for that matter. And don't judge me because our kids didn't get along as children or you disapproved the actions of a member of my family. We are all individuals. I don't befriend arrogance. I detest dishonesty. I abhor cruelty. There is a huge difference between friend and acquaintance. I also believe in doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. And, although grace should be a factor, part of me believes the aforementioned should be a matter of reciprocation ... cause if you do and do and do .... and never receive in return, the proverbial well does eventually run dry. Affirmation and appreciation go a long way. Before you go thinking I'm talking about conditional love, I'm not. I'm talking about that 'I scratch your back, you scratch mine' thing. Mama always said 'use your resources wisely' and "know when you're being taken advantage of''. Sticks and stones do break bones, and so do hurtful words.
I am concerned about what the future holds for my children and grandchildren. There is no promise of tomorrow, but, I know who holds it. Ultimately, I am the only one responsible for my health; responsible for my choices; responsible for my own self-discipline; responsible for my thoughts, my actions, and my fears.
I have regrets. I both look forward to and fear the future. I love gospel, country, rock, classical and whatever the other genres of music you may have a label for. Except rap. I love being near the water's edge; the sound of waves breaking or the slight ripple on the surface. I find it peaceful, like no other source ('cept for God's peace .... perhaps it is that peace I find in water .... we all have our quiet places). Yet, I fear it. I cannot swim.
I love watercolors. You may either like my work or loathe it, as well as my cooking and housekeeping abilities. It is after all a subjective opinion. The point behind my backing out of the artistic spotlight isn't about losing focus, artist' block or lack of sales, it's about spending more quality time as a mom, wife, woman, daughter, neighbor, friend, gramma. Wisdom is realizing that catching up is more important than keeping up. (Love that quote, but it has escaped my busy brain where I saw it). But once caught up, I wish to attain that place and not fall behind again. Relationships are most important.
I don't like Shiraz. I refuse to eat rutabagas, much less smell them cooking. My faith is Christian and I'm not afraid of becoming a minority. I believe God will instruct me and teach me the way I should go ... Psalms 32:8. He hasn't failed me yet.
I know from whom my blessings come.
I live with physical pain daily. I also eat chocolate daily.
I try to eat healthy. I also love comfort food.
I love a good belly laugh. I also cry in the shower.
I enjoy celebrations. I also enjoy being alone.
I would consider that a balanced life.
Love deeply. Laugh. Cry. Talk to God. Be realistic about the to-do list. Stay in touch. Hug. Dream. Smile. Break Bread often with Family. Spend Time with your Girlfriends. Shop til you Drop! Extend Grace. Be Quick to Forgive and Slow to Anger. Walk. Breathe. Sing. Dance. Read. Eat Chocolate. Savor a Good Glass of Wine. Wiggle your Toes. Sleep well. Life is Good!
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