Love deeply. Laugh. Cry. Talk to God. Be realistic about the to-do list. Stay in touch. Hug. Dream. Smile. Break Bread often with Family. Spend Time with your Girlfriends. Shop til you Drop! Extend Grace. Be Quick to Forgive and Slow to Anger. Walk. Breathe. Sing. Dance. Read. Eat Chocolate. Savor a Good Glass of Wine. Wiggle your Toes. Sleep well. Life is Good!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

This Life I've Chosen ..... Part IV

Here I am again, reflecting on that part of my life where I wear an artist's hat (or apron).  The last four years of this art-venture found me a short while ago spinning my wheels.  I had taken on way too much and needed to dump some things off my plate.  Lots of prayer and many conversations later, I made a decision to move out of a few galleries and art associations.  I'd realized (after more than two years later) I couldn't continue to participate in the gallery scene and outdoor events.  Over the last couple of years I've encountered some physical challenges as well as time challenges, which, if you've followed my blog, you already know, so I'm not gonna re-cap all that.  I've met some awesome folks and made some wonderful friends along the way.  I've grown in many ways.  I've gained a wealth of knowledge.  And somewhere along the way, I slipped back into that SuperWoman cape and refused to admit I couldn't do it all .... again.  Unfortunately, it took me awhile to realize I was wearing myself out physically, mentally and emotionally. 

I still have work in four locations.  That's not too terribly bad since the previous total was ten locations all at once.  I can choose which shows to apply to and which events to submit work to.  I don't feel as much pressure to "perform" as I was feeling and I don't feel like I have to create what people expect (judging from previous work).  I admit I strongly hesitated about slowing down because I was afraid I'd be forgotten. 

Slowing down and deciding what I was most passionate about was a huge determining factor.  My current passions include getting to see my granbaby girl five days a week.  Watching her grow and develop has been a constant joy!  Not easy (especially when my back flares up), but a joy!  I don't get many painting projects started or finished, but that can wait.  Afterall, I was 47 when I started doing this art thing!  And hey!  Nobody has forgotten Elvis, have they?

I'm also enjoying reconnecting with my role as a housewife!  Really!   I love gardening and doing small projects around the house.  I love cooking.  I love reading.  And more recently, I love knitting!   I know!  Perhaps I am, as my daddy used to say, a Jack of all trades and Master of none.  I'm okay with that!  Unless my number comes up at a young age, there's always tomorrow to pursue mastering a skill.  So, for now, I'm just living life the way I want to live it!  That "glamorous" life of an artist, well, in my humble opinion, is a silly notion.  Don't get me wrong!   I find it very relaxing to chair up to my studio work table with a watercolor and inspirational music playing in the background.  And I appreciate the oooohs and ahhhhhs like the next person, the recognition of my art by others, and bringing a long, drawn out project to completion.  But, I'd rather be known for kindness, generosity, love and compassion.  Sure, you can include that in whatever you pursue, but lightening the load is slowly bringing me back to knowing who I am.

Before someone wants to slap a diagnosis of "burn out" on me, stop!  I am blessed to be able to pick and choose at this point in my life.  And if I choose dolce far niente! then so be it!  Of course, truth be known, when I practice the sweetness of doing nothing, it's often because I'm sitting with a heating pad on my back!  One never knows what tomorrow holds . . . Be happy!

"The precedent to quit doing and simply be is divine."  Eugene Peterson

Footnote:  I've already been asked since this page was posted if I'm giving up art! 
LOL! Not at all!  I'm gonna go with the flow and take it as it comes! 
Bowing out of the rat race!  I'm not cancelling outdoor shows or burning my studio! 
Just need to find a little balance between painting, planting and pain! 
So, please, don't read more into this than is written and go spreadin'
rumors around town that 'Terri Keller is throwin in the towel'! 
I'm not going away!  Just gettin' a grip and leaving guilt behind!
'Cause I can!

No comments:

Post a Comment