Today's Ramblings . . .

Another "draft" that was never posted. 

I preface this one with:  This was written during a very trying period.  I am proud of my both my daughters!  The oldest works hard and is a wonderful mother herself!  My youngest has travelled some tough roads this last year and is prevailing!  She's developing good work ethics and realizing life isn't about having fun all the time!  Now, if I could just get her to clean her bathroom!!

The Mother/Daughter dynamic is a very fragile thing.

Growing pains are common for both mother and child.

My daughters and I didn't always see eye-to-eye.  Imagine that!  I'm not a 'my way or the highway' mom but sometimes you've gotta force things back on track.  Sometimes parents compromise for a particular occasion or situation. Unfortunately when we do this, the kid eventually uses it against us. Believe me! They remember.  And they vocalize it ... loudly.

The battles are all the same. Perhaps the disagreement is a two year old's tantrum over a toy or not wanting to ride in car seat; a 9 year old throwing their homework all over the floor out of frustration; a battle over the 14 year old's disgusting bedroom and household chore responsibilities left undone, or the 18 year old declaring their own 'my way or I'll hit the highway' declarations that "I shouldn't have these boundaries" or "Why don't you trust me?" or "I can take care of myself...nothing's gonna happen" or "I'm gonna save up and move out just as soon as I can" etc. I've heard it all .... from my own daughters and their friends, nieces and nephews and neighbors' kids.

  

Screaming fits and tantrums!  Do they ever end?

You will have children of your own one day!

Along with love and laughter, often comes the other music.....doors nearly slammed off their hinges, hissy fits, rolling eyes and shouting matches ... followed by acknowledging it went too far, asking forgiveness, tears and thanking God for giving you to us. 

I often tell myself  "c'mon, you've done all this before".   There was a ten year span between my daughters.  A lot of similarities.  Lots of challenges.  Lots of growing pains ... for mother and daughter.  I had similar challenges with my own mom.  

And, to all you budding almost young adults out there ..... please keep in mind that your parents weren't born morons.  We were teens once too.  Really, we were.  Life is a continuing learning curve no matter what your age. We experience peer pressure from our friends too....really (especially in the area of parenting).  Just remember in your eagerness to leave the nest and trying to build your own, don't sever the ties with hurtful words thru your own interpretations or the influence of your friends. Regardless of the way your parents "parent" they only want the best for you and it's their responsibility to figure out the boundaries and direct you along the way to take the steps necessary to help you reach your goals and get you heading in the right direction towards being independent.  We're not here to ruin your life.  We're here to love you and to raise you to be responsible adults and all that goes with it.  As my mom told me when I called her in hysterical tears the afternoon of my oldest daughter's wedding rehearsal "that's what you raised her for!"