My "Go-To" Women

Okay! I did it already! I changed the blog description from "slightly left of mid-life" to "slightly right of mid-life" 'cause I turned 50 about a month ago. Technically I won't reach mid-life til 52. I've always told my husband I wanted to live to be 104....as long as I could still reasonably take care of myself. It's been great thus far. Can't complain! Been married most of it to my wonderful husband, Tony. Of course, it hasn't been all roses. There have been some rough spots and some gut wrenching feelings come and go. But I would re-live it all over again to be in the exact spot I am now .... well, minus the nerve pain. Though even that has taught me to be kind to myself.

I recently went out for an evening with some girlfriends from high school. We had a great time! Went to dinner and saw a movie. Eat, Pray, Love. It was fabulous! I'd already read the book by Liz Gilbert twice and gleaned so much from it. I read it closely behind A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. Both spirit moving works. It's taken me years to feel comfortable in my own skin and these books helped nudge me more into that general direction. Though I'm still not totally at ease injecting my opinions ... especially in opposition, into conversations, I'm more confident I won't be dropped from the "A list" before the next social event if I do!

I've also made a new circle of friends over the last three years as I have been on this art adventure of mine! They have all be willing to share tips and shortcuts and opportunities with me, the new kid on the block. Again, our opinions and our tastes in art may be different but I've been accepted into a group of wonderful, talented artists and that is both comforting and exciting at the same time! Another great circle of virtual girlfriends exist on Facebook as well! I may not have personally met each of you but rest assured it brings a smile to my face exchanging greetings when I log on! Love you gals too!

I certainly must mention the friendships that have been ongoing most of my life. Those I have interacted with over the last thirty-five years. Several who are also neighbors. Many I see once or twice a year at Mardi Gras functions or on the Island. Especially one who has been my closest friend since highschool. I've had a couple of very meaningful friendships that have simply fizzled out....wasted really....either because of misunderstandings or which simply slowly drained the joy from my life.

I love reconnecting with old friends, getting together with new ones and spending time with long time friends. I miss my "go-to" women. The ones I talked to for hours about everything under the sun. One especially. My great-aunt Pete....affectionately called "Petie" by our family. She was my rock. We lost her a couple of years ago within two weeks of a cancer diagnosis. I still miss her terribly. I also lost my mom last year and another close aunt earlier this year. They were all mentors to me and from each relationship I brought away something valuable. How to be a wife, a mom, a friend. How to keep house. How to just listen. How to love unconditionally. How quietly observe. When to keep my mouth shut. How not to be. When to just let it be.

I thank God he placed these women in my life. And I thank God for the women he has brought back into my life since each of them passed away. All of my girlfriends fill a spot that can't be filled by my husband, my daughters, my pets, my art. All of these factors complete me .... for lack of a better phrase!

God bless you all and I look forward to sharing life's ups and downs and in betweens with each of you!!! Thanks for being my "go to" women now!

They Walk Among Us.

You know em. Those people. Sometimes camouflaged as friends and family. Concealing hidden, and often not so subtle, judgments about you or your family. Their super powers lend themselves to assumptions about your life. Little snippets of information, quite often less than factual, grow in their judgmental, analytical minds until they believe without doubt that they know your every thought, intention, belief. They are easily offended and bruised if your opinions or schedule conflicts with theirs. They believe that once wronged, people never change. They think ... no, they know beyond doubt that their values, their plans and their political views and religious beliefs are the only way and, be-damned if you don't place your own in alignment with theirs. I have a couple of those "friends" and "family" plans. I'm beginning to let those relationships drift like a corked bottle in a vast ocean of dribbling nonsense. One day, after growing in their frustrations over their vain imaginations, they'll blow that cork and sink in their guilty assumptions and gossip and only then, by the grace of God, will they learn what grace really is. I'm not perfect. No one is ... this side of Heaven. I'm also not a hypocrite. I've made mistakes. I've learned from them. Life is a perpetual learning curve, not a place for closed minds and hearts.


I thank God for my family and friends. Those who have loved me for me and haven't judged me for my shortcomings. And, may I say? Check your own tiara before attempting to adjust mine!